Perimenopause and Disenfranchised Grief: A Personal Perspective

Making it make sense ” Perimenopause and Disenfranchised Grief: A Personal Perspective”

Introduction

Embarking on the journey through perimenopause, I encountered a myriad of changes in my body that left me bewildered and concerned. From hot flashes and mood swings to weight gain and missed periods, the symptoms seemed endless. However, it was the onset of severe anxiety and depression that propelled me to seek professional help. Unfortunately, the responses from my GP and endocrinologist were disheartening, with both suggesting antidepressants as a solution while dismissing the gravity of my experience. This lack of understanding further compounded my frustration, a sentiment that may resonate with many facing similar challenges.

Personal Reflection

Initially, I attributed these symptoms to my history of trauma, believing that my mental and emotional struggles were solely linked to past experiences. As a trauma survivor, my vulnerability heightened my susceptibility to anxiety and depression. However, I soon realized that while trauma played a role, the primary source of my distress was the loss of identity brought about by perimenopause. The hormonal fluctuations of estrogen and progesterone significantly impacted my mental well-being, leading to a sense of disenfranchised grief and isolation.

Gaining Clarity

Enrolling in transformative courses as part of my psychotherapy education was a turning point in my journey. One particular course, ‘From the Wild Edge: Roadmap to Reclaim Your Body Wisdom Through Ancient Mythology, Herbal Medicine, and Modern Science,’ offered by Dr. Karley and herbalist Seraphina Capranos, provided me with the language and understanding needed to navigate perimenopause. This course, blending ancient wisdom, herbal medicine, and modern science, shed light on the unique challenges of perimenopause exacerbated by societal pressures and stereotypes impacting women’s mental and physical well-being.

Understanding Disenfranchised Grief

My pursuit of a grief educator certification with David Kessler introduced me to the concept of disenfranchised grief. Prior to this, my understanding of grief was limited to mourning the loss of loved ones. However, disenfranchised grief, a term coined by Dr. Kenneth Doka, opened my eyes to the unacknowledged, unpublicized, and unsupported nature of certain types of grief. This lack of recognition can lead to prolonged grief, delayed mourning, and complications like depression. This newfound knowledge has profoundly shaped my approach to grief and my work as a grief educator.

Intersectionality and Unique Challenges

The societal pressures and stereotypes surrounding perimenopause are particularly pronounced for Black women, who often face distinct challenges during this phase. Research by Dr. Prior underscores that Black women experience higher rates of vasomotor symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats compared to other groups. The pressure to embody the ‘Strong Black Woman’ stereotype, rooted in the legacy of chattel slavery, can exacerbate feelings of isolation and dismiss the personal struggles of Black women during perimenopause. Breaking the silence, validating these challenges, and providing support are crucial steps in empowering Black women through this transition.

Creating a Supportive Environment

My commitment to fostering a safe and empathetic space for women to explore disenfranchised grief in perimenopause arises from personal experiences and professional education. By acknowledging intersecting factors of race, gender, and societal expectations, I strive to empower women to prioritize their well-being during this transformative stage. Dismantling harmful stereotypes and offering compassionate care that honors the full spectrum of women’s experiences is paramount in this journey.

Conclusion

Perimenopause is a multifaceted and challenging period that merits recognition and support. By sharing my personal narrative and highlighting the unique struggles faced by Black women, I aim to foster empowerment and a sense of community. Through compassionate care, understanding, and solidarity, we can navigate disenfranchised grief and embrace the transformative potential of perimenopause.

Closing Questions

Can you relate to the experiences shared in this post, or have you observed similar struggles in someone you know?

How has the ‘Strong Black Woman’ stereotype influenced your journey through perimenopause or other life challenges?

What collaborative steps can we take to break the silence, support one another, and foster resilience during these transitions?